i asked some advice from a sister. alhamdulillah she gave a lot. thanks Allah i found her to share my problem with. her words used are very warm as it touched me deeply. she totally woke me up and be strong..here they are!
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu
What I understand from your email is that gentleman was passing his time with you. I know it’s going to hurt you, but my dear sister try to forget him. Do you know why I am giving you this advice? It’s because normally people are very nice with each other in the beginning of the relationship, whether that relationship is between the friends, or between the employee and the employer or between the colleagues or between teacher and student, or between husband and wife. All the relationships start with sweet behaviors, sweet talk, love, respect and so on. Everybody tries to show the other party his good nature, his love and care and IF in the beginning things don’t workout than that relationship doesn’t last.
Now look at your relationship, how old is it? If he was really serious about you or if he really loved you he would have approached your family and would have tried to marry you rather than hurting you and ignoring you. He would have behaved nicely with you, took care of you. If a person is behaving in this manner when everything is normally sweeter than can you imagine how he would have behaved with you after marriage?
Instead of complaining to Allah thank Him for saving your life. The good thing is that you were not deeply involved with him since it was a young relationship. It will be easy for you to forget him and move on insha Allah.
The reason why you’re feeling down is not because you loved him, it is because of the feelings of rejection. Nobody likes to be rejected and it is very hard to accept the fact that someone has rejected you. Don’t welcome this negative thinking. He didn’t reject you Allah rejected him for you because He wants someone better for you. You are very special and you deserve a special person. So wait for him, keep yourself safe for him, prepare yourself for him. He will be in your life in the halal way very soon insha Allah.
Seek Allah’s forgiveness by reciting Istighfar at least 100 times a day and make lots of duas and ask Allah to heal your pain, and to give you comfort and peace. Ask Allah to remove that gentleman’s love from your heart and replace it with His love.
Remember if you fill your heart with the love of Allah, Allah will bring your soul mate to your doorstep insha Allah.
Take care of yourself.