that idea of our childhood

long ago..time kecik-kecik cute dulu i used to telan biji guava. the most favorite part of guava. memang aku suka sangat part tu. tiap kali makan guava aku tak makan isi kat luar tu..aku makan isi yang dekat-dekat ngan biji skali ngan biji tu aku telan jadi santapan perut. makan siap nyorok-nyorok sebab kalau mak or ayah or akak or abang aku nampak memang aku kene. kalau tak kene cubit aku akan kene marah. paling kurang kene bebel. adik aku pon tak boleh nampak. nanti dia gi kecah kat mak aku. tau la kan ape jadi bila berita aku makan biji ni smapai ke telinga mak aku.

until one fine day mak keluarkan statement yang mengerikan maybe sebab dah tak tau camne nak larang aku yang kepala lebih keras dari batu ni. ayat mak aku "biar dia makan. biar biji tu tumbuh dalam perut dia. nanti ada ulat daun sekali. kita jangan tolong dia. dah larang tak nak dengar. biar je...biarrr" bila dengar mak aku cakap ulat daun tu aku dah kecut. aku siap imagine lagi macam mane daun tu keluar dari rongga-rongga yang ada kat badan aku...naive sungguh. LOL.

gambar dicuri dari 9gag..sekian

bila aku dah besar ni aku terfikir balik...betapa lurusnya aku dulu-dulu...comel kan?? hihi

errrrr

kalau tak nak say thank you, at least hargai lah ape yang orang lain buat. ye, memang aku kuat memberontak. tapi ade sebab. bukannya aku memberontak saje-saje. gila ke ape?? rasanya tak perlu lah nk cakap satu-satu kan. common sense kot. masalhnya obvious sangat. tunggu aku buta and pekak lah kalo tak nak aku terasa or merajuk or memberontak kan. cakap ngan orang lain elok je. tapi bila time ngan aku marah-marah. muka ketat. ok fineeee! teruskan!

waiting to suffer?

i know about her...yes, i do.
she was the one who filled your heart before
the one who you really loved or perhaps still love
u said u love me but i know the feeling of dumped by the one we love
it hurt enough
but u act like it was ok, but the fact is u are not
everything u did have something to do with her
the song u chose to hear, your facebook status and some photos in your phone
and sometimes the way u look at me like u saw someone else in me
all i have to do right now is waiting for u to really forget her
but for how long?
or until myself give up on waiting anymore?
one thing u should know...I HATE WAITING!

because...my only hope is You

Dear Allah,

If I destined to fall in love again at this age please give me a pure love. love that can bring me peace, happiness and blessing from You. The most important is let it be the last love for me ever. Means that no broken heart, no half-way love after this. Because it was so hard to go through that situation. i was like a living-dead. at those moment, i forgot that i still have my family. 

all i could do was cried, cried and cried. macam bodoh kan??tapi that's the fact! after that i learn to accept what Allah has written for me. i filled my thought with positive thinking. "he's not for me", "he's not good enough for me", "someone better is waiting for me". itulah ayat-ayat yang aku selalu cakap kat diri aku sendiri. only through those difficulties i found myself strong enough to face the real world without anyone except Allah with me. 

and now...someone stepped into my life. who was firstly known as a stranger. now he became a part of me, maybe. Gosh, will it happen again? please don't let it be...having a broken heart is like having a broken ribs. from the outside it looks like nothing happens, but every breath hurt...

is it love?

yes, i found someone. a guy of course! baru lagi...sangat baru. still early untuk aku mengharapkan something yg more than friend. still early untuk aku ukur jauh mana aku dapat pergi dengan dia. tapi sayang tu dah ada..hehehe. cinta belum.
the truth is i'm struggling to avoid this feeling. past experience regarding love made me suffer..even suffer to think of. sebelum yang ni, ade lah aku kawan dengan beberapa ketul tapi aku back off. aku takut. takut yang melampau. aku teringat how silly i am cried for someone who never appreciate my presence. teringat camne bodohnya aku butakan mata, pekakkan telinga dengan apa yang dia buat kat aku. semua tu buat aku ermmmmm xtaw what word yg sesuai. fobia maybe..what happened to me make me think that all the guys are the same.
but now, maybe hati aku terbuka balik untuk terima seseorang yang asing. recently, most of my time i spend with him. sangat tipu bila aku cakap aku takde feeling langsung kat dia kan. tapi mulut menidakkan. lagi-lagi bila tahu sejarah cinta dia.hurmmmmm....aku pun tak paham.
better stop now. aku tak tau nak tulis ape sebenarnya. next time je r.